A quake registering 4.2 on the Richter scale was felt in an area from Kent to Essex last night at about 3 am. Police reported many calls from Thanet, though Ramsgate remains unharmed. According to the British Geological Survey, the epicentre was near Sandwich at a depth of 15km. A similar tremor occurred off Folkestone in 2007.
Twitter wags have blamed locals for voting UKIP, which made God angry. Photos showing the devastation, including a smashed gnome and fallen garden furniture abound on news sites. Damage has been estimated at 39p.